Lady Juanita

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Where there is an unfortunate injury to Lord Vader.

Dear Dr Obi Patrick,

I have a problem.

My husband, Lord Vader, has met with an unfortunate accident while corralling a herd of wild young courgettes in the West Paddock. He was seriously trampled and is in intensive care at the Merciful Sisters of Our Dildo Hospital in town.

Obviously I cannot leave him until he is out of danger.

Are you married Dr Obi? If so you will understand my reluctance to drop everything and run from him at this time.

I hope this does not upset you plans. I will be sorry (but understanding) if you feel it better to find someone else more capable than me.

I feel wretched and miserable that I may have let you down.

I did, by the way, receive correspondence from the bank and am holding it awaiting your advice.

What airlines fly to Ghana? It may take more than a week to get a visa to visit Ghana; do you know anything about this?

Should I avail myself of the option to use a local lawyer?

Please tell me what I should do. I am in your hands.

Yours sincerely,


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