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My all time favourite set of Nigerian letters.

Please PLEASE NOTE: There are passages in this collection of letters that would be very offensive to women, black Africans and possibly Emus. I was intent on trying to raise extremes of emotion - principally hate of Mr John Smith and lust for young Rhonda - in a conman who was intent on getting my money, possibly my life.

I was hoping that his conflicting emotions would make him do the right moral thing when he found out that...well, you will have to read the letters to find out what I did.

In no way do these letters reflect my personal views!

  1. Rhonda - Opening gambit
  2. Rhonda - A lovely surprise!
  3. Rhonda - Somebody told me about you...
  4. Rhonda - I was being cheeky
  5. Rhonda - Apology accepted
  6. Rhonda - May I call you "Okafor"?
  7. Rhonda - Call me "Marvellous"
  8. Rhonda - Little black banana?
  9. Rhonda - About my wife...
  10. Rhonda - My Darling Banana!
  11. John - Enter John Smith - far right
  12. Rhonda - $17,000
  13. Rhonda - Tell me your fantasies
  14. Rhonda - Black men are very big...
  15. John - Oh well...
  16. Rhonda - I am always happy when I think of you
  17. Rhonda - Any chance of a recipe?
  18. Rhonda - My secretary is my girlfriend.
  19. Rhonda - National Chunder Appreciation Day
  20. John - Gnat infested hell-hole
  21. Rhonda - Rhonda is miffed
  22. Rhonda - What do you mean "whack"?
  23. Rhonda - My mother died yesterday...
  24. Rhonda - Power of Attorney
  25. John - I am an honorable gentleman
  26. John - Are they clean?
  27. John - Let me elucidate:
  28. John - Emus hold no attraction to me.
  29. John - A window is closing.
  30. John - This deal is our life hope.
  31. John - A confession of murder!
  32. John - You are my personal friend.
  33. John - It was all a mistake. I was just joking...
  34. John - A right to express your view.
  35. John - You insult me greatly.
  36. John - We need not insult each other...
  37. Rhonda - My name is Plato.
  38. Rhonda - I am speechless.
  39. Rhonda - Executor of the will.
  40. Rhonda - Honestly, I have never met with Rhonda.
  41. A personal message for Mr Davies Okafor.