J Cosmo Newbery

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Where Mr Newbery gets savaged by a tamarillo.


Dear Mr Ariyo Jacob,

Thank you for your thoughts and endeavours on my behalf. Certainly luck has been dealing me a most unfortunate hand in recent weeks. This morning our family tamarillo, enraged by some real or imagined transgression on my part, bit me mightily on my leg, inflicting a grievous wound, and confining me to the Sudan chair on the front patio.

I firmly believe that remaining pure and upright I shall prevail over all the devils that plague me. Your support in these trying times is so very reassuring to me. It is so comforting to realise that there is at least one person who cares about me and my well-being.

You asked how much of the short fall I may be able to cover...well, it occurred to me that there is the small matter of the life insurance of the late Mrs Newbery, may she rest in blessed peace.

The insurance will give me the wherewithal to fund the transaction. Possibly all of it.

But I do not expect to see the money for a few days, at the very earliest. I feel from the urgency in your emails that this is problematical for your timetable.

Beyond that I have little ready cash. Even if I sold my few remaining shares it would take at least five days to clear the money.

Perhaps you need to find someone more able to help you quickly??

God only knows I have tried but it has been an uphill battle.

Oh, I feel so miserable that I have been such a disappointment to you!

Yours in convalescence,

J. Cosmo Newbery.


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