Mavis Bramston

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A recipe (Of sorts)! Mavis was sort of hoping for some roses for her birthday but no such luck


Dear friend/partner,

I acknowledge your fax dated August 2nd, 1997. I am sorry to have addressed you as Marvis as opposed to Mavis.

Most blacks are naturally virile, Marvis, you said Rita must be very tired. My sense of humour could not quite appreciate it. You are a natural blonde and can prove it, how do you want to prove it? Happy birthday in advance. You are indeed sweet and lovely. We have a blend of favourite colours, I suppose - blues. Your favoourite flowers are roses, are they? Have you ever pondered why there are thorns before the rose flowers? It is symbolic of the huddles (sic) to glory.

I have sent your regards to Rita. I was however not bold enough to show her your picture on the extract from the newspaper. She queries the number of persons the meal is top be prepared for? The reason is to give her the precise quantity for each ingredient. This may not help you much. The meal is called "Ogbono" it is prepared with:

Palm oil, ogbono spice, meat, fish, pepper, salt, vegetable.

You didn't cause me any problems. I saw it as a way of telling me something about you. I quite appreciate it.

The Transaction

Mavis, why the constant reference to $21.50 as the subject matter of this transaction as opposed to US$21.5m. Initially I thought it was a big joke, because of your high sense of humour. I hope I am not being presumptuous. Go through my first letter to you to make this point much clearer.

For the basket waving (sic),after the successful transfer of the funds, what is due to you can be invested in the basket weaving to boost industrial productionand output. Do you understand?

Reasons for the Gifts

1. The gifts to the Directors is to show the genuineness of the transaction.

2. To enable them treat your payment file with interest and particular concern.

If it is lap top computers you are sending down, the power supply or voltage in Nigeria is 220-240 vols. If you are sending wrist watches make sure it is prestigious to befit the status of the Directors. Anyway, I have no reason to doubt your taste from your faxes so far. Mavis, don't forget that the courier service you will use is DHL, that is because of its confidentiality.

Mavis, I want to remiond you of the confidentiality of this transaction. Rita extends her greetings to your Mum. You write like a columnist, are you one sometime in the past.

Your friend, JOHN AKPEKI.

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