Willy, at the risk of offending pretty well everyone, sails into murky waters in pursuit of the elusive Raised Hackle:

Dear Mrs Chile,

I am sensing disapproval in your tone. How can this be so? Have I not acted in a most proper manner?

The game, as you call it, is not dirty at all. When I take on staff I expect to be taking them on in total subservience to my needs. I feed them, I accommodate them, I am their protector.

It is only proper that they in return apply themselves to accommodating me. Especially the women, though I did have a butler called Adrian once.

And the young women should be even more grateful, I consider that I am assisting them, training them in the finer points of pleasing a man so that when they do eventually find some low life scoundrel to be their husband, not only has all the hard work been done but they have a few skills to show him how useful they are. This is staff training at it's best.

Mrs Chile, you are a woman, you must understand this, surely? Your father will have assisted you when you were a young girl, didn't he? After all it is a father's duty to loosen up his daughters in preparation for the wider world. So give me none of your 'dirty game' nonsense.

Now on to business:

I understand what you are saying about the 5% now but does it really have to be paid from my account now? Oh, I have the money, don't get me wrong, but it seems so irregular. As there is about a million dollars put 'aside' for expenses why not just offer the lawyer twice his fee, ie $3,000, to sit and wait until the funds are cleared?

Much neater what?

Yours sincerely,

Wilberforce.