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Willy seems to be a self-maid man:

Mr Dear Mrs Chile,

How are you?

I must apologise for a brief absence from my computer. My maid laid quite unreasonable charges against me and it resulted in a brief stay in the city remand centre while my lawyer sorted things out.

The little vixen will be quite out of sorts when she learns that her little charade to get me arrested has failed. The woman is unbelievable, the way she said that I had forced my attentions on her. Certainly she did scream a lot and hit me with her umbrella but I knew she really wanted it. I knew she was really saying 'yes'. You're a woman, you must agree with me. That is what women do, isn't it? And anyway, I had offered to have her bodice repaired and the bruising would go in time. What more could she be wanting?

I have had contact with your lawyer. He seems to think that you think I know how the high court works in your country. Most extraordinary. I wouldn't have a clue.

I said to him that he was the lawyer. He should know what to do.

Don't you agree?

Yours most appreciatively,


PS Do yo like having your breasts licked?

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