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Willy gets a little more personal:

My Dear Mrs Chile,

How dashed jolly to hear from you. Yes, I have read through he lawyer's document and all seems well enough. A standard sort of thing, the chaps never seem to be able to put any levity into these things.

I really do doubt his ability to function efficiently. Are you sure that the fellow is a decent sort of cove. Totally reliable?

By the way, he has not sent me the document you mention.

As you suggest, I will remind him although, quite frankly my dear, that is not my job. From past experience with these scoundrels he will bill me for ringing him to tell him that he has forgotten to do something.

I must say I do not share your desire for starvation at this juncture. I was hoping that you would draw on your catering skills to send me a recipe to make. Well, in truth my butler Colin would make it, and I would sit out in the conservatory and think that I was with you sharing the meal on some warm patio in the back blocks of the civilized world. Please Mrs Chile, enough of this starvation talk! I do look forward to your recipe.

Do you miss having physical contact with a man in your husband's absence? I mean, do you miss having the nape of your neck nibbled, your back rubbed, your hair played with? I would be most understanding if you did.

Yours most adoringly,


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