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Venus is not happy.

Dear Dr Martins Obi,

I must confess to a variety of emotions on receiving your email. Certainly I cannot hear. This is an inconvenience to me but not insurmountable.

It seems to me that my biggest challenge is convincing you that just because I still have the fresh blush of youth that I am not a suitable person to assist in this transaction. I am 22 and I am the sole director of the Milo Foundation. An investment fund that I run in honour of my dead parents.

Last calendar year, my fund increased by 19%. Considering the trends on world markets last year this was a great achievement and I am very proud of it.

You pay me no compliment in asking to talk to my parents.

However I am flattered that you consider me beautiful. My mother was beautiful. I consider myself to be pretty. Beauty will come later. Would you be so kind as to send me a photo of yourself so I can pass judgement on you?

You want to take my hand in marriage? Well. I don't know whether I am able to do that!

Yours sincerely,


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