It was a day later and the friar was directing the novices as they set up the tents for the annual fete when one of the orphans passed him a sheet of paper:
Attn:Mr.FRIAR AUGUSTUS TUCK.
Thanks very much your message,contents dully noted accordingly.
Dully noted? wondered the friar. I didn't think my writing was that bad.
I am very happy that you are a God servant and fearing person because before sending this message to you,I prayed over it and tell Mrs.Mobutu that ONE WITH GOD IS MAJORITY. For God being so kind to us today and as my spirit was leading me I know that I am at a safer hand of a Christian.Frankly speaking this is the way for the monastery to raise funds for the new chapel,solarium and fornicatorium in good faith and confidence.
I am very happy to hear that you are willing to help me with this venture as long as my participation remains STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL. It Is well understood but I will like to inform you this early stage of this business that it requires urgent attention.There is nothing like adverse publicity in this transaction Ok!.
Amen to that, he thought. The Monastery was still recovering from the unfortunate incident with the girls of the East Dingley Harmonica Ensemble during intermission at the Christmas nativity play. Friar Balsam is still doing penence for that.
I am giving you 100% assurance that this transaction is real and demands immediate attention so that we would meet up our objectives and aims in good faith and confidence.Great and noble goals indeed.I agree with you.Let us help eachother and share accordingly.The issue of telephoning for talking is not a problem as far as your fax number is effective for message's at your persual,there is trouble Ok!.
WHERE IS YOUR BANKING ACCOUNT?.
What does he mean? Was I meant to send something?
Really,it is a while since I sent this email to you but I have been praying over it while waiting for your responce so as to sending it to anyother person and to avoid duplication as it is secretly and confidentially transaction.Now,you are required to forward through attachment your FIRST&SECOND INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT PHOTOGRAPH for self-identification,a LETTER of GUARANTEE ascertaining that after you receipt of this fund,you will only collect nothing but your 20% share as indicted in my proposal,and is in a good position to save the balance for me pending when I will need it for my usage with your keen assistance.
The friar re-read the paragraph a few times but still wasn't too sure he fully understood it.
You should send to me this vital document through attachment please so as to maintain always the confidentaility of this transaction.
God bless you,while I am waiting to hear from you in advance.
Thanks and best regard's,
Blessing Justice? That is a mighty odd name, he thought. Nearby, a tent collapsed on a group of novices and the resulting cloth covered turmoil reminded him vaguely of the Mother Superior from the nearby Convent of the Blessed Dildo. He put the letter in his pocket and went to help.