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The Abbot sits down, a large glass of brandy at his side and replies to the first email:

My Good Fellow,

Please forgive me for not responding to you earlier. I had not attended to Friar Tuck's email. I will answer this from my own email to facilitate communications.

As much as I am distressed by the Friar's behaviour I must rally to his defence. He has not disclosed anything to me but you comments do certainly arouse my curiosity. Let me reiterate the Friar's position: he has been taken before the hooded council for a number of gross breaches in monastery behaviour codes. As a result of this he has been incarcerated in the penitentiary cell awaiting the council's judgement. In the course of attending to his affairs I came across an email from yourself to the Friar and answered it.

I was intrigued by your comments about benevolence to the monastery and approached Friar Tuck on this matter. He would tell me nothing. He said he had given an oath not to reveal who you were or what you were doing. That is why I contacted you.

I am unclear of what the $1,800 is. Is that what we will receive for helping you? If so, it is most generous and I thank you for it.

I see there are a number of other emails from you. I will answer them in turn.

Fidem deus, omnes nummi. (In God we trust, all others pay cash.)

Abbot Costello.

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.

- Ecclesiastes 4:9.

“One down” mutters the Abbot sipping his brandy.

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