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The friar walked like a man on a mission. He was determined to send off the money to the strange Mr Justice so that, ultimately, he would get the greater rewards and with it the undying appreciation of the monastery.

He stuck his head into the Abbot's chambers; no-one was there so he took the keys to the monastery's car, a Studebaker Hawke, and feeling quite in control of everything, headed off to the old stable where the car was garaged. It was not often that he felt in control of events around him.

Unfortunately, as usual, it was misplaced.

He started the car, manoeuvred out of the monastery grounds and headed off to town. Once on the open road he turned on the radio.

“Bugger!” he exclaimed suddenly. The radio carried the unmistakable sounds of the Anzac Day march. He had totally forgotten that today was a public holiday.

He was returning to the monastery when a young lady at the roadside caught his attention. She was most attractive. Mmmm nice legs, thought the friar, perhaps I will give her a lift! As he slowed the woman yelled out “Pig!”. Well! thought the friar if that is what she thinks she can bloody well walk! He accelerated the car around the corner...and found the road blocked by a large pig. He swerved to the left, careering off the road and through the hedge of the convent. The convent's hens rose into the air as one and then, like the autumn leaves around them, settled back down upon the friar's car.

Some time later, the friar sat down at his computer to write to Mr Justice.


Dear Mr Justice,

Please forgive my delay in replying. It has been a traumatic day for me.

What some people may call a pig of a day.

I was not able to get to a Western Union office as it was a public holiday here in Australia on Friday. ANZAC Day; only a country that has a public holiday for a horse race, could also have a public holiday for an oatmeal biscuit. It is most puzzling.

I will go into town on Monday.

You can rely on me.

Yours in Christ,

Friar Augustus Tuck.

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Why hast thou then broken down her hedges,
So that all they which pass by the way do pluck her?

-Psalms 80:12

There was a knock at his door.

The friar opened it to find the Abbot standing there.

“Have you seen my car?”


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