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After some time the friar got up. He was sore. He ached. He had sandal whelts on his head and back. But he felt no malice to the angry young Sister. He did consider doing the same thing to Sister Lily White but reprimanded himself for the thought and rinsed his wounds in the basin.

He read the message on the computer and then put together the following reply:

Dear Mr Justice,

I have had a trying time of late. I feel like I have been run into by someone in a blue BMW. The reality is it was a woman with a purple region called the BMW (Bring Men Whimpering, say the cynics). Forgive me if I sound a bit rattled.

I am sorry about the question. I actually had a much longer one planned about the culinary and dietary shortfalls of a meal solely serviced by loaves and fishes but changed my mind.

Wouldn't a small question be easier to guess? Is it safe?

And is 'brother' a question? And is 'sister' the logical answer to a question of 'brother'? If I went up to someone and said 'brother' could I reasonably expect them to say 'sister'?

It is a most puzzling thing that you suggest.

But thank you for your faith in me. I will not let you down.

Yours in Christ,

Friar Augustus Tuck.

Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me;
it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my
prayer shall also be in their calamities.

-Psalms 141:5

And then, feeling comprehensively smited, he lay down on his bed and slept.

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