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On his return to the monastery, the Bishop read through his mail. There were three emails from the odd Nigerian:

Attn:Bishop Taekes Pawnchek,

Thanks for your kind response and highly accepted your apology to me.

Frankly speaking i myself cannot understand what is going on with regards to the insultive and embarracing message's the so called Mother Abbot of the St.Rumpet's Monastery and Orphanage;and Mother Superior of the Convent of the Divine Contractions was writing to me.Well i have in confidence and trusthworthiness personally to you now as a Bishop agreed to continue of all future dealings with you to see the fruiutful and successful end of this transaction and to visit you along with Mother Abbot ok!.I can understand that you wil be travelling to the Holy See on Friday morning your local time,but when are you coimg back because after the receipt of this payment by the london people precisely by friday morning,i shall forward to you the details of the courier cargo carrying your consignment directly to you.

So, you will need to check your email anywhere you are and remember to come back before the mandated seven days' for the consignemnt to arrive to you.The seven day's will start from next week monday 16th June 2003 to 20th being friday till 23rd$24th respectively being monday and tuesday next two week's coming .

Well, I missed that, thought the Bishop.

While i am waiting to receive the payment slip from you by tomorrow immediately after you come out from your bank, i wish to seize the great opportunity to inform you that i have stopped replying Mother Abbot's message again.

Dear Sir,Thank you for your most informative letter.I too have a point of correction - It is perhaps a little contradictory but even though I am a Mother (and a Superior one, to boot) I am not a Mrs.You may call me Miss Gnutsgeschmashen.

Gnutsgeschmashen? Really? I appreciate the time you have taken to answer me but in all honesty I am not surprised about the lateness of your reply. It is sadly an all too common trait in tradesmen nowadays.One further correction, my elevation to my present position was more due to vaginal lubrication than elbow greasing but I will take your comment as a compliment.

A Beninoise! I am reliably informed that they are hung like a donkey! Is this true?.If it is so I would be ever so interested in a closer inspection when you come to visit.I note that you are sadly quiet on the questions I asked regarding length and diameter. Please Sir, you have me aroused,find a warm ruler and report the results to me at your earliest convenience!There is no need to leave your endurance with God, he has no need for such physical attributes.Far better to leave the pleasures of the flesh to the creatures of the flesh.This is a delicate question,but have you been screened for AIDS?. Please be assured I will ensure that the full hospitality of the monastery (but not the convent) shall be at your disposal when you arrive.

Bishop could see such a displeasing message.She have never prove to be true Mother.I will not blame much because we all have Mother and it might depend of what you describe me to her.I respect Mother's and women in general.Mary is the Mother of Jesus Christ and the Mother of the whole world today.

Now do your job and leave me with the remaining procedure's please and God bless we all in Jesus Mighty name i pray Amen.Try to be reaching where ever you are ok!.

Hoping to hear from you very urgent while i remain,

Your's Sincerely,

Blessing Justice.

The Bishop sighed. The Mother Superior had been something of a loose cannon while he was away and had had all the monks painting the monastery. Not a bad thing in principle but, personally, he would not have chosen 'Dog-cock pink'.

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