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Holmes is reluctant to press on...


My Good Sir,

I must protest at your request that I be mannered. I assume that you are referring to my pursuit of scientific knowledge as to the physical symmetry of the male anatomy. The pursuit of scientific knowledge is one of the noblest to follow and, while I had not intention to offend, I was genuinely curious. One never knows when the information will be useful.

Your bank's computers seem to be seriously at odds with my own records.

I certainly do not know a Mr Mohammad Taghi Rajaee and do not know where he fits into the overall scheme of things. I don't suppose he would be willing to give me any information on the relative elevation of his gonads? Perhaps you could ask on my behalf? I would appreciate it. Thank you.

I am most puzzled about a bank that refuses to deduct fees from an account. This is a reticence never before seen in a bank of my acquaintance and strikes me as most odd.

Please also provide answers to my questions regarding the fee in my last email as there are pivotal to the payment of the fee.

I wait your reply most eagerly.

Holmes.

P.S. I am considering a monograph on the singular patterns presented by the rear tyres of bicycles. Do you ride a bicycle?


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