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Sam seems a bit perplexed by my letter. The following fax comes:
Attn: T. Masala
RE: OVERDUE CONTRACT DEAL (Well, he knows what it refers to then)
Thank you for your memo dated 13th July, 2002, which came rather late. Could you really throw more light on paragraphs one and two. (Nope)
I would appreciate it most if you can call me on the above line or write out your direct telephone line for more information breakdown. (Nope)
Revert expenditionally. (That's a new word!)
My Dear Good Sir,
I am thinking I have perhaps been in error in corresponding with you.
I was receiving a letter conveying the airs of having emanated from your good and most gracious self and yet you are knowing nothing of it. I am being perplexed.
I am fearing that I have been made fun with. I have for some time been in correspondence with a gentleman who was to me making great promises of financial benevolence and has taken much money from my person for no refund. He is recently being most quiet.
I was recently receiving a letter of great encouragement signed by yourself in person that was to me offering to apply resolve to this issue. I am with sadness to find that you know nothing of this letter. I am being walked down a pathway of weeds.
I am hoping that you will apply forgiveness for my forwardness in approaching your good self but it was being done in the trust of an innocent who was believing the truth in the letter from your august chambers. Hope as they are saying springs from the eternal.
Please be forgiving of my intrusion upon your serenity.
I am with you most languid,
Princess Tikka Masala,
Exiled ruler of the Channa Dahl.