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Puzzled, Princess Tikka writes to both parties:
My Dear Goodly Dr Ahmed,
I am thinking I am having a too few Indians and a too surplus of chiefs.
I am being most confused. Am I to be doing the bidding of the goodly Dr Frank or am I to be doing what you are bidding?
Please be advising me as to who has the highest bid.
I am most perplexed,
Princess Tikka Masala,
Exiled ruler of the Channa Dahl.
Dear brother Alex,
I am being most bisected with doubts.
I have been receiving faxes from the Dr Tanko of my past, imploring me to send him monies.
Am I to be doing what you are saying to me or am I to be doing what the periodically present Dr Tanko requests?
Without receiving your guidance I am being like a sheep without a rudder.
Please be telling me quickly.
Yours most confused,