Princess Tikka Masala

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Where Princess Tikka writes to Dr Alex Frank and recounts the death of Rogan Josh. Various references to the Green Eye of the Little Yellow God relate to an old music hall recitation.

Last night's short email was accidentally sent from Hans Gneesunt-Boompsdazi rather than Princess Tikka. This letter is being sent to tidy up that error.


Dear Brother Alex,

I am hearing the local peoples say that they are being 'knackered' when they are being tired but it is being unclearly in my mind whether they are then being with knackers or being without knackers.

Which ever is the correctly procedure I am being most assuredly knackered.

I am hoping that my hurried messenger reached out to you last night.

Last night, after I had been sending a letter to your goodly wife there was being a knocker on the door. My personal masseur, Hans, was opening the door and he was finding my lieutenant, my lovely Rogan Josh, standing before him, wounded in his mortals. Of my emerald, The Green Eye of the Little Yellow God, was nothing to be seen.

A note was being pinned to his chest with a dagger of sharp proportions and was reading "Round two to the Colonel's Daughter. Tis the vengeance of Mad Carew". Are you having any clues to the meaning of this note, Dr Frank?

In much alarm we were leaving the house for safety. I was giving a message briefly to Hans to be sending to you so that you would be without the worries for me. I am believing that he did so.

We are being safe now. I will be looking for the daughter of this Colonel and her motley Carew with all my heart. Round three will be being mine although I am admitting to not knowing where was held round one.

Apropos your monies I will have to be sending Hans to the Westerly Union office on the Monday.

Please be thinking of your poor Princess.

Bless you good Brother Alex and your goodly wife Sandra. May Harikiri, the sharp edged God of intestinal turmoil, ensure that the feasts of your table are open for all to see.

Your sister in mourning,

Tikka Masala.


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