Princess Tikka Masala

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Where Princess Tikka is not happy about the anti-terrorist certificate and stalls for time.

Note: It was purely coincidence that the Lads asked for this certificate and Princess Tikka, exiled leader of the Channa Dahl, really was a terrorist. Most fortuitous!


My Goodly Brother Alex,

I am not yet having received a letter from your Mrs Alex but I am being very excitable in anticipation of it. Please be giving her a sisterly hugs from my arms.

I am admitting that I do still labour under many great apprehensions over the anti-terrorist certificate.

As I am thinking that the two parties standing in the transaction are the Goverments of Nigeria and the persons of Princess Tikka and I am knowing that I am a terrorist person as defined by the government in my home state and that the Governments of Nigeria is most assuredly not a terrorist then a certification for the passing of moneys from the Governments of Nigeria to the persons of Princess Tikka are being most probably to stop due to a terrorist in the works that is Princess Tikka.

If it is being that the certificate, as explained by the most untrustworthy Dr Tanko, is to ensure that moneys from the Governments of Nigeria are not passed to terrorist or illegal funds and I am a veritable knickers full of terrorists then most assuredly it will fail with much misery. Mostly mine.

I would be wishing be doing what you are wanting with the moneys.

I am just having many racks of doubts.

Please be assuring me that this certificate will not be resulting in my unfortunate incarceration in a block of cells in the malodorous company of the unwashed larceners of the petty things.

In the meanest times, please be confirming with me who I am supposed to be sending the moneys to. Is it being your good self? The most unseemhly Dr Tanko or is it being to the hitherwise unseen Mr Okon Peter? Please be telling me what is which. I am thanking you for that.

I will then be being ready for the making of the transfer once my safety is being assured and the Gods are being willing.

Bless you good brother. May Weepingsores, the Goddess of the pustular eruptions, bestow her benevolence upon your manhood.

Your sister in exile,

Tikka.


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