Princess Tikka Masala

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The following letter arrived by fax last week. It is fairly vague as to who it is addressed to but the writer got the fax number from somewhere. Perhaps they go through each other's rubbish bins.


OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
FOREIGN CONTRACT PAYMENT BOARD

ATTN: HONORABLE CONTRACTOR/BENEFICIARY

This is to inform you that the Presidency has stepped into the payment of your contract fund.

It goes on with a lot of waffle for a while then says:

The Directive from the President based on these findings is that this office should make immediate and uninterrupted payment of your contract fund direct from the Federal Treasury. (Good!) Other offices including CBN, SENATE COMMITTES earlier handling your payment have been advised to hand over to this office to avoid duplication of efforts, though such offices may hesitate to let you know of this new development. (Really? Why is that?)

So I have been stolen once again. Sort of the Black slave trade in reverse. The letter wanders on for a while talking about telegraphic transfers and ends with:

For further directives, on receipt of this notice, you are also advised to reconfirm your contact information, banking information(s), direct telephone and fax number(s) to this office for verification. (ie: he doesn't have a clue who I am.)

Yours faithfully,

Rev. Dr William Orji
FCPAB Chairman and Presidential Advisor on Foreign Contract Payment.


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