Princess Tikka Masala

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Princess Tikka receives a most strange form to fill out. It is already stamped 'received' and signed by the authorising officer even though she has not filled it out yet. She asks advice.

My Dear Brother Alex,

How is it with you today? I am trusting that you are feeling goodly.

I was being away on yesterday and upon my returning this morning I found a most peculiar fax from a certainly Mr Abdul Usman. Is this man being an agent of yourself? He was requesting that I am filling out and faxing a form of most remarkable properties.

The form was not being the anti-terrorist ones you were being mentioning but was a "payment application form". It was being most odd in that it was fully blank of my details and yet it was with the many stamps of officialdom: "APPROVED" and "DESPATCHED" and "RECEIVED" and "SECURITY DOCUMENT". And even most strangely it was already signed with the authorising signature even though it was without having my details entered in it at all. How is it that this can be? I am with great perplexity and my brow is as if it had been ploughed.

I am thinking that I will not fill in this form with out your blessing.

Please be informing me of your thoughts.

I am also saying that I am not having the anti-terrorist certification of which you speak.

May Sphincter, the God of the Gateway and Prunes, the Goddess of Liquidity be joining together their vital life forces to be giving you a great reluctance to the passing of wind. Coughing too shall become a thing of the past.

Please be of good spirits.

Your loving sister,


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