But poor, poor Princess Tikka has a problem...

Dear Mr Harty,

My name is being Rogan Josh, a closely associated person of the Princess.

Unfortunately the princess is being in intensive care in the Hospital of Our Sisters of the Merciful Dildo following undertaking a rather unfortunate accident.

I am looking after her affairs at the moment. Is there anything I can be doing to help you?

You are mentioning an Attorney. Is the Princess being in trouble?

Please be telling me the truth; I am wanting to be knowing it.

Yours most sincerely,

Rogan Josh.