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Miss Lendeby is tentative...

Dear Sir,

I am in receipt of your letter asking my assistance in finding someone 'reliable and honest' to assist you.

My first thought was that I could do it.

I am, I feel, totally reliable, a pillock of the community, silt of the earth, a veritable clock of Gibraltar. And I pride myself on my honesty, I am like Harry, Larry and Moe, the three wide monkeys.

But then I saw that you wanted a man to be Mr Coulter.

Do you want me to look out for men who may help you? I have been looking for a wealthy husband for some time now, perhaps we could cross two birds with one stone when we come to it?

Please let me know if you still need help in this search,

Yours sincerely,

Nora Lendeby (Miss).

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