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The Devil responds:

My Dear and most patient Reverend West,

Thanks you for clarifying things for me.

You seem to be out of sorts today. Are you alright? It is almost as if you are a totally different person writing the letter. Perhaps you are just very busy. Perhaps the altar wine.

I am extremely busy myself at the moment preparing for a new influx of Liberal Party Senators and, according to my running sheet, a few local property developers. I do enjoy welcoming them to the congregation.

I will contact the finance company later today.

My own contact details are below.

Yours most warmly,

Nick Lucifer.

PS: Do you know if there is tax to pay on the money?

PPS: Please note that I am in every way a man and that it would be quite wrong to call me your sister. It would quite ruin my reputation with the ladies. I do love the ladies and must confess that I have exchanged a few souls for services rendered. Most oddly they say that it was a heavenly experience. And I do love the panic that a cloven-hoofed baby brings to a convent! I would hate to lose that. Mind you I do get annoyed sometimes over the injustices of this world: why is it that His children get feted with plum-pudding and tinsel and mine get drowned in the church well?

Do you have any children Reverend West?

The Brimstone Chapel,
964/502 Victoria Street,
Victoria Australia.

Phone: (+613) 9838 4333
Fax : (+613) 9328 5338

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