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Nick escapes, but does the Rev care?

My Dear Reverend West,

I fear you have received an email from a tight arsed, loose moralled, maniac calling himself a pastor. Please ignore anything, ANYTHING, that he sends you.

I have had the devil of a time with him. The maniac and three of his so-called heavenly angels kidnapped me and held me in some outback camping ground and then wrote to all the media to come and see me.

I wont bore you with the details but suffice to say I escaped and my need for your generous bequest is more dire than ever. Consequently I have been back to the Western Union office.

It appears that they need more information - see the section marked with a cross on the form. Because the amount is over $500 they need a description of the person collecting the money. To be on the safe side I suggest you also provide me with his shoe size, his favourite football team, his preferred brand of haemorrhoid cream and the cubic capacity of his grandmother.

Please be quick, I fear the pastor is intent on my recapture.


The Brimstone Chapel,
964/502 Victoria Street,
Victoria Australia.

Phone: (+613) 9838 4333
Fax : (+613) 9328 5338

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