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“Well,” he muses, “Why not?”

He runs a blade over a goose feather and pens the following:

My Dear Reverend West,

Sulphurous greetings from the Underworld!

I refer, of course, to Australia, locally know as 'Down Under'.

I have been passed your email by a mutual acquaintance who felt that I may be able to assist you. Let me say first up that I am most impressed with your stated football skills, it is a game that I believe is devilishly difficult to be good at. There has been a Rugby tournament here recently and the fans of that code say that it is the game played in heaven. This may be so but if you really want to get a clear understanding of the good Lord's idea of what an eternity is like then you cannot go past cricket.

Please tell me more about the four million dollars. How is it to be spent? Is it a bequest or a loan? Are there reporting requirements?

I look forward to your reply.

Yours from the abyss,

Nick Lucifer,
Opposition Whip.

The Brimstone Chapel,
964/502 Victoria Street,
Victoria Australia.

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