J. Cosmo Newbery

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OK. We are into the final stages now. Two emails en route and then the end of poor J Cosmo. Let's get on with it.

To give the impression of travelling I use a Yahoo email address and send at the times I should be in Kuala Lumpur and Amsterdam:

Dear Charles,

Greetings from Kuala Lumpur!

I am using a yahoo email for my on the road correspondence as I can access it from the computers in the Club lounges at the airports.

The first leg of the trip has gone smoothly enough apart from the wretched stewardess firstly refusing to serve me any more whiskey and then startling all the passengers quite needlessly by screaming when I tried to show my appreciation of her pert little breasts.

Quite an unreasonable woman.

I am looking forward enormously to the two attendants you have promised me upon my arrival in Lagos.

Is there any chance yo could organise a goat? See what you can do.

Charles, this is going to be a trip to remember! Just you wait and see.

See you soon,


Poor Cosmos seems a bit worse for wear. The text of his email from Amsterdam with the subject "keer I hum, charlie!!!!!!!!!!!!" is as follows: (This is better read out aloud):

Cheer Dahls! smee cosmos in amsterbloodydam i rope you are heady for my coming! and the sweaty lack bladies better be teddy roo! i am going to hest my reary wead on their brorgeous geasts and duggle snown for for for...for ever Charels, ever. what a way to go charles dothered to smeath by tuge hitties my tomb will say he died with a file on his smace. Oh i'm dreaming charlse dreaming of the four tig fitties you have mating for we in the rotel hoom. and there is more more more there is those beary hits bown delow I can play with swot and hetty and dery vamp dery dery vamp. and so welcoming come in go out come in go out ohhhhhh yesssss. Once I get my mands on that honey of yours pee are going to warty,, Charles, warty like you budn't weleave. it will be one pell of a harty, dinging and sancing and lots and lots of cornifating. I like cornifating. The heeple peer think I am under the affluence of incahol. they couldn't be trurther from the fruth. I am as jober as a sudge and price as twitty. but I have one more kite to flatch to get to gineria then we will have fots of lun charlles fots and fots. i think they faging my plight night row. gust no mow, kuv and lisses chucky your mere date cosmosmosmos.bye bye ooroo xxxooo

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