Look out Charles; here I come...!
Dear Charles,
Put the coffee pot on the stove, I'm coming to Lagos!
I'm going to sort this thing out myself. I have always felt that if you want something done correctly you should do it yourself so it is only fitting that I put my philosophy to practice.
I am pleased that you have seem the light about that lawyer. He was a disaster looking for somewhere to happen. You are well rid of him.
I arrive in Lagos on June 10th at 1805hrs, KLM flight KL587. I expect that you will meet me at the Murtala Muhammad Airport. (These are correct details, obtained from the KLM website.)
Can you recommend somewhere suitable to stay? (Now I try to bamboozle him with sundry questions of no real consequence but they all add depth to the deception...)
What should I bring with me? Is it warm in Nigeria this time of year?
I have some flexibility on the ticket but am only on a temporary visa so will want to be out within a week. Do you think there will be time to 'see the sights' around Lagos? How much time will be tied up with the transaction? Could you come up with a list of things a tourist must see?
A man on his own in a foreign city can get mighty lonely, do you know of any friendly company I might avail myself of while I am there? (You're a man of the world, I'm sure you know what I need! Big breasts and sweaty thighs would be a good starting point. See what you can do.) (This will be interesting...)
Looking forward to meeting you. And collecting the money!
This is going to be a trip and a half!
Cosmo.