J. Cosmo Newbery

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Look out Charles; here I come...!


Dear Charles,

Put the coffee pot on the stove, I'm coming to Lagos!

I'm going to sort this thing out myself. I have always felt that if you want something done correctly you should do it yourself so it is only fitting that I put my philosophy to practice.

I am pleased that you have seem the light about that lawyer. He was a disaster looking for somewhere to happen. You are well rid of him.

I arrive in Lagos on June 10th at 1805hrs, KLM flight KL587. I expect that you will meet me at the Murtala Muhammad Airport. (These are correct details, obtained from the KLM website.)

Can you recommend somewhere suitable to stay? (Now I try to bamboozle him with sundry questions of no real consequence but they all add depth to the deception...)

What should I bring with me? Is it warm in Nigeria this time of year?

I have some flexibility on the ticket but am only on a temporary visa so will want to be out within a week. Do you think there will be time to 'see the sights' around Lagos? How much time will be tied up with the transaction? Could you come up with a list of things a tourist must see?

A man on his own in a foreign city can get mighty lonely, do you know of any friendly company I might avail myself of while I am there? (You're a man of the world, I'm sure you know what I need! Big breasts and sweaty thighs would be a good starting point. See what you can do.) (This will be interesting...)

Looking forward to meeting you. And collecting the money!

This is going to be a trip and a half!

Cosmo.


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