Barrister Eke wants a phone call:

DEAR JOHN SILVER,

COULD YOU PLEASE CALL ME IT IS VERY IMPORATANT I HAVE JUST RETURNED FROPM ABUJA AND I FOUND OUT ONE IMPORTANT THING THATY HAS BEEN DELAYING YOUR PAYMENT.

PLEASE CALL ME ON PHONE NO E-MAIL.

REGARDS
BARR.FRANKLIN EKE
1968

Good evening to ye, Barrister Eke!

It has been a good few days since I have been hearing from your good self, it has.

Please be telling me what it is that ye have found out. I am becoming most anxious for the receiving of this money.

I hear what ye be saying about the 'on phone no email' and I be granting ye that the email is being most impersonal like but it does give someone with me condition a chance to converse with the world at large.

Ye see, I were a trifle inconvenienced by having some of me teeth out today and me mouth is being protesting mightily. I be speaking only in grunts and moans, a most pitiful sight I be assuring ye.

Please be tolerating of me condition.

What, pray tell, am I to be doing to get me money from the weasels of the Ministry?

Yours most swollen,

John Silver.

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The Pissed Parrot Pub,
15 Vice Admiralty Courts,
YARDARM, 3300, Victoria.