I know I have tried before but once again I tell the Prince that the show is over.

Oh Kenneth! Enough of this, my damp-loined Prince!

There is no Felicity. Never has been.

Or, to translate that into standard Nigerian text:

THERE IS NO FELICITY. NEVER HAS BEEN.

I have told you this on a few occasions but the communications, as good as they are nowadays, seem to have problems crossing the last four inches.

(But I did send a real invitation to the wedding and I am quite dark on the Nigerian mail service for being so slack.)

If you are feeling interested I recommend that you go to the site below and have a read.

If it is any consolation to you, you do seem to have quite a large world-wide fan club of people who have been marvelling at you undying love and devotion to Felicity.

Best wishes, have a boiled yam for me,

Yours distantly,

J Cosmo Newbery.

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For some silly correspondence with Nigerian Conmen, visit:

Sweetchillisauce Nigerian Letters

Six of the stories have been compiled into a book called Dancing with Thieves, available at the site.