Felicity is found, but not in good condition:

Your Excellency,

Forgive me for saying this but really you do not have a clue about what is going on.

Today has been a most miserable one, spent mostly in the close and acrid company of a police sergeant. They believe that I have something to do with my dear, dear Felicity's death. Yes, Miss Felicity is dead. I, of course, know nothing of this sorry turn of events, I just know that I have been robbed of the inestimable pleasures of my dear Felicity's satin smooth thighs.

I do not believe that your constant writing to the lady has helped but on the other hand do I think you are the cause of her death. But I did, of course, tell the sergeant about you. Please be honest with him if he contacts you.

I have attached a bit from a newspaper for your information.

Yours most sadly,

Cosmo.