Kris Kringle

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Where Kris Kringle expresses an interest in heading to the tropics.

Dear Stella,

Please understand I meant no offence when I asked whether you were a man or a woman. Sometimes it can be difficult to tell from the name. Think of Kerry, Shirley, Vivian, and even Lee.

Anyway thank you for establishing that you are truly female. Is there any chance of a photo of you? Clothed, of course. Mrs Kringle would throttle me if you send a nude photo. I have been told that Nigerian ladies are very pretty. I have been to your part of the world on the occasional business trip but it has always been late at night and all the good girls were sound asleep. I have no idea where the bad ones were.

I am so looking forward to this transaction proceeding. It will give me the wherewithal to retire to somewhere warm. The tropics have a big attraction. I will, of course, need to lose a bit of weight so gym membership is also high on my 'to do' list. I have this urge to eat venison too.

I have asked the elves and they feel sure that they can arrange the disc you require. I have asked them to get back to me on it. Where should I send it once I have it?

Yours jovially,

Kris Kringle.

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