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Some character called Kris Kringle shows some interest. It would appear that he has had some dealings with some Nigerian business men but is a fraction out of pocket.
I'm sorry it is a little unclear from your facsimile message this morning whether your proper name is Stella, Mike or Ann.
Please advise me at your most earliest convenience of your correct name as I would absolutely positively hate to offend you. Certainly not inadvertently. I know I am supposed to know the names of all good little boys and girls but, in all honesty, there are times when I just fake it.
Certainly the interminable delays in payment of this transaction have caused me much distress. Those gentlemen (Oh, how it pains me to use that term for such absolute rogues and scoundrels, but protocol insists!) have lead me a merry dance. I told them that I wanted to get it settled as soon as possible and do you know what they said? "Ho ho ho!" they said. Isn't that rude?
It did seem like such a good plan though, to get this money to help keep the little folk on the payroll over the quiet season and all that. Plus the chance to underwrite the agistment fees for the deer and such like. And the heating bills! You would not credit how expensive the heating bills are here. But this whole transaction thing has done nothing but cost me money. Will I be getting it all back?
I really do believe that your deal will work. I have to. I have long told people to believe in things that, on the surface, look impossible. I think believing in things can make them actually become true. Don't you?
Please advise me as to what to do next.