Kris Kringle

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Mr Kris Kringle laments a lost opportunity for a menage a trios, promises to forward the money, recounts the scarey exploits up the bunge tower and offers to teach Stella badminton.

Dear Miss Mike,

Thank you for clarifying the banking details. I will venture into town tomorrow and visit the bank.

Mrs Kringle was most relieved when I told her that you were not planning to give me a massage. Personally I am not so sure. Mrs Kringle worries about my blood pressure at the best of times so the prospect of a beautiful Nigerian lady giving me a massage raised all the old concerns. I told her that it would be OK because she would be present too but she would have none of it and said no menage a trois for her!

Your religion specifically prohibits you massaging another woman's husband? That is a mighty specific commandment! I am impressed! What is your religion?

We are looking forward to seeing your photo.

Today has been a day of recovery. My hammock and I have largely been inseperable. As you may recall Mrs Kringle arranged for me to do bunge jumping in order to try to cure me of my fear of heights. Have you ever seen one of those bunge towers? They are enormous!

It was most embarrassing really. I was fine going up but once I looked down all my resolve went and I grabbled the ladder and just could not let go. They actually brought in the State Emergency Service team to tie ropes to me and lower me down the tower. Talk about feeling like a dill! Anyway I hit the sherry in a big last night and even though I am used to drinking a far bit during the festive season, especially Christmas Eve, it went to my head and I feel a little seedy today.

I look forward to teaching you badminton. The local nudist club has a badminton competition going at the moment. I am trying to get Mrs Kringle to partner me in the mixed doubles.

Best wishes,

Kris Kringle (Mr).

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