Hans Gneesunt-Boompsadazi

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Hans ponders a stage name for Peter Kone.


Mein Dear Peter Kone Jr.,

I am to you writing with the news that the lawyer has me contacted today.

He vas me telling that he had your briefs received. Vhen the ladies their briefs geslingen onto mein stage I am well knowing what this means. Of what am I to be making of you geslingen your briefs to a lawyer? Perhaps it is none of mein business.

I haf the lawyer questioned about his fees. His ist too much charging for sehr little vork. I am not trusting him.

I am that your life is in danger most distressed. You hav much misfortune suffered. It must be for you to sleep at night most difficult. But haf no fear Peter Kone Jr, the Amazing Maurice will you rescue! I vill, as you requesting, be the father you were never having.

You vish me an invitation to write? An invitation to Australia? Vat do you vish me to say in this invitation? Vat if I vas to say:

"Dear Peter Kone Jr, to Australia kommen! Your mate, Hans G-B."

Vould that be correct for you? Please tell me.

You are correct. Vhen ve face to face gemeet, it vill be ein special day. Schwein mit vings vill der heavens gefill.

You vill be remembering that vhen you are with us gestayen, you vill on der stage perform. You vill ein stage name need. I am The Amazing Maurice. Mein gut vife is The Goddess Olympia. Vhat name vill ve use for you? Perhaps you vill like Harpo marx not gesprechen and you could The Kone of Silence be? Or in honour oft your poor departed father, Cocoa The Clown.

Please to me be giving your thoughts.

Olympia is thanks giving you for your greetings.

Guten abend,

Hans Gneesunt-Boompsadazi. (The Amazing Maurice)


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