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Always obliging to those willing to donate to his election funds he sends the requested details:

Greetings Mr Osande,

The blessings of the god Poloponi upon you and your family.

My facsimile number and phone number are unchanged but for accuracy I will reconfirm them for you: Fax - +613 9346 XXXX, Phone - +613 9433 XXXX

I do not subscribe to the tedious pretension that I am so important that I must be able to talk to someone all the time and therefore do not have a mobile phone.

Moreover, I flatly refuse to be chained to the whining rabble that voted for me and now expect to have a bit of my ear at the most inopportune times.

Hasta pabulum, bellum probus opus est.*

I am overjoyed at finding yourself and fully expect you to guide me through the labyrinth that appears to be Nigerian bureaucracy.

Yours imperially,

Gluteus Maximus.

* Spear fodder, what we need is a good war.

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