Always obliging to those willing to donate to his election funds he sends the requested details:
Greetings Mr Osande,
The blessings of the god Poloponi upon you and your family.
My facsimile number and phone number are unchanged but for accuracy I will reconfirm them for you: Fax - +613 9346 XXXX, Phone - +613 9433 XXXX
I do not subscribe to the tedious pretension that I am so important that I must be able to talk to someone all the time and therefore do not have a mobile phone.
Moreover, I flatly refuse to be chained to the whining rabble that voted for me and now expect to have a bit of my ear at the most inopportune times.
Hasta pabulum, bellum probus opus est.*
I am overjoyed at finding yourself and fully expect you to guide me through the labyrinth that appears to be Nigerian bureaucracy.
* Spear fodder, what we need is a good war.