Friar Tuck

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Well, it had to happen. I have finally made it to the 'A List' - a fax from the President of Nigeria himself. Well, it is on letterhead, it must be true...


Dear Contractor:

I am the president, Commander-in-Chief, Federal Republic of Nigeria, CHIEF OLUSEGUN OBASANJO, and I do hereby assure you that your long overdue contract payment will be taken care of by me. This is the promise I made to President George Bush after his inauguration months ago and also to Japan Prime Minister, Mr Koizumi that all contractors from USA, JAPAN and other countries will be paid without further delay.

He goes on for a while outlining the people who he has found incompetent and sacked. Then:

Dear Contractor, you are warned to stay clear from these people so that you will receive your contract payment peacefully. So you have to stick to my advice to avoid what happened previously not to repeat itself again.

Furthermore I have appointed REV. RUFUS ADAMS, qualified Chartered Accountant as Pay Master-General of the Federation and he is the person that will have the final say in facilitating the easy release of your fund.

Hang on. I thought you were going to take care of it personally? And, as President, wouldn't you have the final say? Oh, nevermind.

Some more gumph and the the close:

Thanks for your co-operation, understanding and patience while awaiting your prompt response.

Respectively Submitted (Eh?)

Chief Olusegun Obasanjo
President, Commander-in-Chief
Federal republic of Nigeria.


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