Felicity tries to calm young Kenneth a bit....

Dear Kenneth,

Thank you for your lovely long and most entertaining letter.

The Masquerade sound absolutely fascinating and I love to see it.

My favourite foods are from Asia, India and the Mediterranean, though I must admit I have never tried foods from Africa. Soups do seem very popular! I do like cooking and would love to learn more about the recipes.

You say there is a restaurant in Los Angeles that sells the food you talk about. If I am ever there I will try them. I would not be surprised 'white men' eat there, I believe cooking is an international language that anyone with an open mind and an adventurous palate can speak.

I would love to see the yam festival, too. What time of year is it held?

Tell you about me? Okay. As you already know, I am a prostitute. That sounds terribly low and improper but I think of it as being no different to being a masseur or even a hairdresser. All I do is provide a pleasurable experience in exchange for money. It is a business transaction.

I used to be an English teacher but the Government decided that teachers were an extravagance that the state no longer needed and I had to look for something else to do.

My father is possibly the best known and widely respected tree psychologist in the state, possibly the country, while my mother comes a most highly esteemed theatrical family, the Squelchititts, who specialised in half-time entertainment at rugby matches. They made their name in mud-wrestling.

I have one brother, Bruno, who runs a small charitable organization dedicated to raising money to buy life-jackets for lemmings.

Kenneth, let me be honest with you. You are very sweet and I am most flattered that you are paying me so much attention. But we must be realistic: you really know little about me and I know little about you. It may well be that if we were to meet that we would not 'hit it off'. I just want you to realize this fact. Do you understand what I am saying?

I guess I am just apprehensive that this correspondence may be racing far ahead of reality. I would not want you to meet me and be disappointed.

Very best wishes,

Felicity.