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Oh well, I'll keep going too.

Dear Prince Nwaeze,

I must apologise for my delayed response; I have been at our holiday villa down the coast for a well deserved break. It was only that I dropped into the office this afternoon to collect my golf clubs that I found your email today at all, as I am not due back at work for a few days yet.

I have heard nothing of the investigation you mention. I was lunching with Paul only last Tuesday. He and his delightful wife were among the guests at a party we threw at the villa to celebrate our spaniel's lobotomy. He made no mention of the investigation but it is possibly just that he felt it wrong to burden us with such matters at a time of such otherwise unrestrained joy.

And of course I am only the executor of the will not the investigating body.

Are you sure it was Paul Calvert that you contacted? His correct details can be found at the Australian Government website:

With regard to the money and burial ceremony, I can be of little help to you. Miss Primm was laid to her rest on December 30th last year in a private ceremony at the Our Lady of the Blessed Virgin Billiard Hall, Chapel and Coin Laundry. Only members of her immediate family and a few hundred of her more distraught clients were in attendance. I did not attend as my geranium had its Level 6 tap-dancing lessons that afternoon.

I know nothing of the money you mention but it is certainly a most generous gesture on your part and I am sure that the undertaker would have done a quite credible job. It is a pity that you missed the ceremony. Would you like me to forward any reports of the ceremony to you?

Yours sincerely,

J. Cosmo Newbery,
Newbery & Associates.

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