Two replies come, on Christmas morning. I know the guy is a conman, albeit an inept one, but why do I feel like I have just backed over some kid's rabbit?
Dear Mr Newbery,
Well, there is no need of futher contact concering Felicity Primm, since you said that she is dead, then may her soul rest in perfect peace.
But to show my love for her I will Summon the Governor in Melbourn Australia to give her a befitted burial ceremony on my behalf.
Please don't write to me again. There is no need of futher contact. Thank you for the vital message you sent to me concerning the death of my princess.
Since you are dead! There is nothing I can do to raise your dead body darling. may your soul rest in perfect peace amen.
adieu my sweetheart
a tribute from