Felicity Primm replies:

Dear Kenneth,

Why did you write to me?

I am truly saddened to hear that you lost your parents in New York, although I understand it is a big city. I lost a guinea pig once.

But I really think you must have gotten your wires crossed.

I am a prostitute. I make my living helping men fulfil their sexual fantasies. I do things that their wives don't want to do. Hardly the sort of business person you would want to deal with!

Besides, I prefer men to boys, if you know what I mean!

Regards,

Felicity Primm.