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Felicity plays along for a while and then tries to liven things up a bit...


Dear Kenneth,

Good evening. It is a pleasant warm, balmy evening. I have just had a shower and am sitting her in my dressing gown, quite refreshed and sipping a mug of tea. For you, it must be morning. Good morning.

Please do not misunderstand me. I would be happy to be called a chief. I have a few little tricks that will make you happy enough to call me anything I want! But that is impossible to do in an email.

All I meant with my 'wise' comment was that I am quite proud to be a wise woman, the equal of any wise man.

A lot of the cars you mention are not for sale in Australia. I will look in the papers on Saturday for more information about the ones that are. I will contact a shipping agent to find out the cost of shipping them to Nigeria. But I will need to know the resale value of the particular cars I find before I proceed as it will be a wast of time and money to over-capitalise the venture, don't you agree? (Well, the economics of it are that he has no intention of paying me, so whatever he sells them for is profit. Bastard!)

How many cars are you thinking about?

Just setting the price at the purchase price plus shipping is not enough. If you do not make a profit you might as well not have done it at all. But if the price is too high no-one will buy and the money is unproductive.

An Australian Dollar is about 56 US cents.

Speaking of money. You have gotten my intentions with poor, sick little Freddie, my dear little nephew, all wrong. N100,000 is an atrocious amount of money! He is just a sick little eight year old. What I would like for him is just one of the SMALLEST Nigerian banknotes. (Come on, tightwad! An N50 note, just 30 cents US, you can do it!)

If you mailed it, say in a card, he would get the excitement of an overseas card, an overseas stamp AND an overseas banknote.

He would not know or care the value of it; it is more about what it is, rather than what it is worth. Please, please do not think of sending anything significant. That would be a waste. It was just a little favour that I wanted, not an international financial transaction that needs approval from the World Bank! I would really appreciate it, Kenneth.

His name is Fred Dunn. You can send it to my address.

I will keep my eyes out for suitable clothes. The shops are filling for Christmas. I was looking at your photo again Kenneth. You do look very athletic. I must admit to fantasizing about what it would be like to be with you. But without the clothes. Perhaps I should look for clothes that are easy to undo.

Do you fantasize about me, Kenneth? What do you think of? What would you do to me if we were together? And, more importantly, what would you like me to do to you? Have you ever had a blow job? Should I ask you that? Too late now. Tell me.

A warm Hug,

(Chief) Felicity.


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