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Felicity sort of wants to help...

Dear Kenneth,

Thank you for the lovely thoughts and comments. Princess is a lovely title. I must confess (and this is purely ignorance on my part) that I was under the impression that African men liked to be masters in their houses. The title of Chieftain was a real surprise. Do you really mean that?

And believe me, men have no God-given right to the title 'wise'. I see the seamier side of men in my job; no offence meant but it seems to me that men have a good brain and a good penis but can only use one at a time. Purely my opinion, of course.

I read, and re-read your words about wanting to hug, caress, kiss and make love with me and I find it hard to tell you what emotions went through my body. The nicest word in the sentence was 'with'. Most men want to make love 'to' a woman, as if she was just some kitchen appliance that you screw on the bed and then it cooks your dinner. Real lovers make love 'with' their partners. Done properly, it is a beautiful thing, to be shared.

Thank you for the compliment.

Yes, there are a number of tennis clubs near where I live. I would love to watch you play. I could hold your balls. When you weren't serving, of course.

Me? A used car trader? Good heavens, Kenneth! I will see what I can do but I will need a bit more information. What model and type of car are most desired in Nigeria? What sort of price would a car sell for? I will need this to find out if the cost of buying and shipping makes it worth while, economically. It could be that second hand cars are still a bit pricey here. What side of the road do you drive on in Nigeria?

Clothes? That should be no problem. What are your favourite colours? And when it comes to length, are you regular or longer than average? In jeans, I mean.

Could you do something for me? My nephew suffers from that rare and debilitating disease, Faecal minimus, and has been confined to his room for some time now. As a hobby he collects stamps and money. Could you send him a Nigerian bank note? The amount doesn't matter, he wont know what it is worth but having something like that would mean a lot to him. And me.

Thank you,

Very best wishes,

Felicity. xxx.

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