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OK, money's on the horizon, let's up the silly factor:

Dear Dr Coker,

Obviously business moves much slower in your part of the world than it does here. Correspondence every two to three would be quicker by real mail.

I have received your faxes. I will act on them early next week. It is Saturday and no Western Union outlets are open. Is it urgent? I mean, you do not seem to be treating it as so. It would certainly suit me to put it off until mid week.

Please let me know.

I have just returned from a visit to the Puckapunyal Army range, where they were testing out a pair of my long johns (in a particularly fetching shade of blue and bearing a red personalised initial, S, on the front) for their ability to withstand direct contact with a shoulder launched anti-tank missile. It really is quite difficult to find materials that do not fall apart and leave the wearer at risk of causing unnecessary drag and wind resistance during flight.

I am pleased to say that the trial was most successful. We are using a fibre derived from Lego blocks. It is damned near indestructible.

But now I must organise dinner for tonight. Lois is coming over. It is the first time she has come over since I burnt through her bra-strap. I was quite driven to do it by the distorted vision I was getting of her breasts, all squashed in the, to me, transparent bras. It is like looking at someone wrapped in cling film. Most odd. Perhaps I need counselling. What do you think?

Please let me know about the urgency on this money.

Yours sincerely,

Clarke Kent,
Man of Steel Enterprises.

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