J Cosmo Newbery

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Having set up the sting Mrs Esther is keen to close in. She sends an impatient email...

Dear Mr Cosmo,

Good day to you and calvary greetings.

Sir,i have not received any comment from you regarding my last mail.I wish to hear from you to enable me know what next to do regarding sending the kids back to school for their exams this week.

Furthermore,i forgot to give you my postal address in my last mail.Here it is:

P.O.BOX AT 575

Also the birthday of my daughter will be on the 27/9/02 while that of my son will be on the 7/10/02.

Sir,kindly let me hear from you asap and i count on you sincerely for assistance in this regard.

Thanks and best rgds,

J Cosmo is delighted to be an uncle!

My Dear Mrs Esther,

Me, an uncle! It is a dream come true!

Please, give my lovely new niece and nephew a big hug from me!

Tell me, how old will they be on their birthdays? (Let's see how this tallies with the father dying in 1997. The kids look a bit young, but they might be old photos.)

Of course I will help you with the school fees it would be the least I can do for such a good Christian lady. And please, I will have none of this talk of paying me back! It is such a small amount in the overall scheme of things. And such a good cause. If I am going to be an uncle, why not be a benevolent one?

There is just a small problem... (I wonder were I learnt that line!)

Unfortunately I am heavily involved negotiations for the purchase of a small piece of land tomorrow (The Northern Territory, would you believe! No, neither would I.) and will not be in a position to get anywhere near to a Western Union office.

Will it greatly inconvenience you if I do not do it until the next day?

Tell the school that if they bear with me for this little time I will donate some funds to them to improve their library. Do you think they would name the new library after your late husband? (What the hell; in for a penny, in for a pounding!)

Please advise me on this.

I must go now, I must talk to my real estate agent about strategies for tomorrow. I will more fully answer your letter once this is resolved.

Your friend,


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