The Lily Saga

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Next I tried Le Pine Funeral Services. It seemed a likely idea that they may know about this association with the lily.

I was absolutely delighted to read our letter of July 31st.

Please take the opportunity to enjoy the position you currently hold as "Chief Sage & Oracle". It wont be that long before 'why?' is replaced by the other 'w' questions like 'when can I have'...'what can I do'...'where can we go'...'what would you know!'. That last statement is particularly hurtful to former Chief Sage and Oracle's.

In order to maintain your current status can I suggest that you might float one if not all the following suggestions in relation to lilies.

In the Holy Bible, Matthew 6:28, reference is made to the Lilies of the Field. Provided the kids have been sufficiently indocrinated at Sunday School this reference alone may placate them.

Alternatively, it would appear that in Europe in medieval days lilies were in fact available, growing freely and flowering for most of the year. As a consequence they were an inexpensive flower available for use at the time of death.

One of our staff with an interest in military history recalls some broad detail of a battle which occurred in France in around 1100AD. In that battle one of the armies was completely wiped out. Its Coat of Arms had prominently figured a lily as part of the symbol. As a consequence it seems many people regarded the lily as a symbol of death.

If the the children find this explanation particularly appealing it might also be a good stepping stone from which you can transfer their attention from the 'Princess and the Pirate' to a more active type film like 'Robo Cop' or 'Rambo'. Whilst this may disturb their sleep pattern it certainly wont generate questions about lilies.

Kind regards, Russ Allison.

The above letter came with a pile of Le Pine marketting stuff.

Dear Russ,

"Sacred Blue" as the French are prone to say.

Firstly, you letter and the enclosed suggestions as to the pedigree of the humble lily were greatly appreciated and, with a little luck, should placate the heirs apparent.

For the time being, at least.

But moreover, thank you very much for the amazing collection of Le Pine miscellanea! I had no idea it was such a commercial enterprise. My wife released the items to me one at a time when I returned home from work. By the time she got to the golf umbrella I was having serious fears about what was coming next!

As for my position of Chief Sage & Oracle...well, I can see the day, not too far away, when an attack of the teens will overcome the lads and, as an authoritative source at least, my goose shall be well and truly cooked.

Chief Sage & Onion, I guess.

Yours gratefully...

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