14th Mar 2004 A lubricant made from the Kiwi vine? What if there are side affucts? View large

Dear Sir,

Your Sylk natural lubricant is really something else.

I must admit that I had never considered using a lubricant made from Kiwi fruit. We had joked on occasion that the kiwi fruit looked a little like the balls that my parent's Jack Russell terrier used to have. A cruel jist.

Jist? I meant to say jest, of course.

Are theer iny side afficts frum using thus mux-tya?

Wull I devulop an affiction for a fet ship?

End whut of rugby? What would I tell my kuds if I started to fullow the all blecks?

Do you really think it uz wise to middle in this sort of thung? I know you said thet it uz netural but uz it rully netural, if you see my muning theer. I mun, yiss it uz netural in origin but uz it possibly aginst the proper order of thungs, uthly speaking.

What if I devulop a desire to lie down on top of a Pevlova and cover myself wuth whupped crum? I min, I am muxing the intrunsic inzymes from the kiwi vine with my issuntial juices and, well, I min, I wouldn't want to start thumbing my nose at the United Stetes of Amirica, would I?

Heng on, yiss I would! Perheps the side affucts are not thet bed efter ull.

Yours most slippery,

J Cosmo Newbery.