15th May, 2005 The label of the handcream said 'Unperfumed, with Lavender Oil'. I was confused. View large

Dear Sir,

I'm a bloke. Consequently lots of the feminine things of this world sail right on past me. Clean floors, matching clothes, any green vegetable (unless it wasn't green to start with), bathroom cleanliness, cocktails, astrology, and hand creams generally.

The other day I found myself sitting in the bathroom in need of reading matter and, in the absence of the sporting pages, chanced upon a bottle of Sorbolene Moisturising Lotion. Against all my natural instincts, I read the label.

Not as gripping as tales of Buckley's thigh but fascinating in it's own way.

What grabbed my attention most firmly, and has largely refused to totally let go, was the full name of your product:

“Unperfumed Sorbolene Moisturising Lotion with Lavender Oil”


Isn't that a bit like a vegetarian lasagne with meatballs? Or a string quartet with trombones? Or a Federal politician with credibility? Or a random list of words in alphabetical order?

Or, at the risk of a lightning bolt, the Virgin Mother and Child?

So, tell me...is it perfumed? Or isn't it?

Yours trustingly but with doubts,

J Cosmo Newbery.