- The article in the Woman's Weekly was for improved sex but the photo accompanying it had some positional problems: View large

Dear Sir/Madam,

My wife hides the Women's Weekly from me.

But every so often, usually in a waiting rooms, I manage to sneak a peek; the wickedness of doing something prohibited is wonderful and makes me feel all gooey. Mind you, I'm running out of teeth and my GP has me tagged as a hypochondriac.

Recently I got a look at your July issue. Now I understand! "Put sizzle back in your sex life"!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

This is what she was hiding from me! Bitch! Like you she long ago took to saying “Okay it used to come out weekly, but in future it will only come out monthly.” Perhaps there was hope yet!

But no, the article did not meet my expectations. What is of serious concern to me and indeed prompted this letter is the very last photo of the article; the one with the caption 'Mission accomplished'. Four feet, the middle two pointing up, the outer two pointing down.

Damn!

Maybe a lifetime of monastic and single-handed solitude in my shed has left me hazy on the mechanics of the current popular coital positions but I can't help wondering that, if the position illustrated was the desired result of the pre-coital conniving, what was the intent of the mission?

Certainly not emission.

Yours in frustration,

J. Cosmo Newbery.



REPLY: None so far.