Nut case.

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The purpose of food labelling is to inform the consumer. Some labels are better than others.:

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Dear Sir,

I am intrigued by the ingredients listed in your Healthy Nut Bars:

P'TS, OR'GE, S'NAS, H'Y, SUGAR, A'COT, S'ME, G'SE.

A quite remarkable economy of clarity!

This letter started with my puzzlement over what an OR'GE is. Not orange, surely. But what could it be? I was puzzled. Still am. Organic roughage, perhaps.

That then put doubts in my mind over the other ingredients. P'TS? Initially I thought 'peanuts' but how can I rule out parrots, pullets, pussy-cats, polecats, poppets and pomfrets?

Alternatively I feel I can reasonably safely rule out pants, petticoats and peppermints.

H'Y is clearly Hominy. I thought A'COT could be apricot but there is no mention of the preservative almost certainly present in apricot so this is unlikely. So I cannot guess that one.

S'ME could be slime. But I guess sesame.

G'SE could be goose, gorse, grilse, grease, galactose, glucose, or possibly grouse.

Perhaps you could enlighten me as to the true ingredients in your product.

OR TO QU'TE ANOTH'R W'LL KN'WN N'T: PL'SE EXPL'N!

Yours confused,

J. Cosmo Newbery.



The company wrote back saying “I intend never to offer you a game of scrabble and you must be a genius at crossword puzzles. Whilst I do take the letter in the light hearted manner it was written, I also understand the underlying message that we have a problem to address...”

Who says my letters are not useful?