Cat Meow.

Return to Letters Menu

My cat is not fussy but it has limits.

Dear Sir,

This is a market survey of one. Prim, the family Cat, being the one.

Have you ever seen those cat food commercials on the television that have some fussy cat called Natasha or Samantha or some such surveying a range of plates before eating from the sponsor's product with feline gusto?

I say feline gusto because it differs enormously from canine gusto. A dog eats like a council leaf vacuum truck, a high volume heavy duty sort of gusto. Feline gusto on the other hand is more like a amble in the park, a carefully paced licking, a delicate gusto. With purring if you are lucky.

Anyway I think I have found what is in the bowls the cat rejects: Cat Meow.

Our cat does not get spoiled and by and large tolerates what we give him. I mean I don't go out and chop fresh liver and egg yolk for it or anything. A dollop of cat food of some denomination and a hand full of dry stuff for Christmas and birthdays. He takes what he can get.

Last night I dished out some Cat Meow and next thing I know the cat is in the study putting on an attack of the pitifuls and the plaintiffs. I need to explain that the cat never comes into the study; I have no idea why, a territorial thing I guess; I'm a bigger, meaner and only slightly less hairy, cat. So to have him come in and carry on so theatrically was unusual to say the least.

It was the closest thing to begging I have seen in a cat.

Cats don't have owners, they have staff. Begging is not their thing. Okay, they nag, they cajole, they hug ankles, they do all those things but with a sort of superior air. Last night's effort was just a really on-his-knees-paws-to-chin-weeping-and-wailing pathetic performance. All the more so for being done on foreign soil.

Do you test this stuff before it hits the shelves? On cats?

I suggest you sell it as dog food, they would never know.

Yours with cat-tear soaked socks,

J Cosmo Newbery

No Reply